Blonde Adventures

Policeman: Today I'm going to train you in order to make perfect and skilful detectives from you. I'll show you the picture of your suspect for 5 seconds and you should recognize him. So this is your suspect, how would you recognize him? 

Blonde1: Well...That`s easy, we`ll catch him fast because he has only one eye and one ear!

Policeman: Well...Uh.. that's because the picture shows his profile. Is that the best answer you can come up with?..And what about you? Think hard before giving a stupid answer.

Blonde2: Hmm... He is wearing contacts.

Policeman: Well, that is a good answer.. wait here for a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get back to you on that.

Blonde2: Hey, honey. This policeman thinks we are stupid, only because we are blondes, doesn't he?

Blonde1: You are right. Everybody has such opinion. I think it is a kind of stereo...stereo...stereosystem

Blonde2: Stereotype, you mean? Oh, don't be upset, darling. I've given a very smart answer...

Blonde1: Why do you think so?

Blonde2: He's coming... Watch!

Policeman: WoW! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contacts lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation? 

Blonde2: Ahaha, it's easy. I wonder why you haven't guessed it! He's wearing contacts, because he can't wear glasses with one eye and one ear!

Policeman: Oh, no! You will never become perfect and skilful detectives! Just go away and don't make me frustrated and furious!

Blonde1: What a pity! But I really want to become a detective. Can you give me one more chance?

Policeman: Not for the life of me! You should work as a farmer or something like this!

Blonde2: Oh, I don't have time for all this stupid stuff anyway! I'm late for the plane! Bye-bye!

Blonde1: Hmm...It is a good idea! Why I`ve not thought about it before. 

Blonde2: Ohh, I'm so tired... It's such a crazy day! Where is my seat? Excuse me, is it 13th seat? No? I'm sorry. Ah, here it is. Wow, how comfortable it is! And now everything I need is a good sleep...

Man: Hello, pretty girl! Do you want to play a game?

Blonde2: No, thanks. I'm very tired and I just want to take a nap.

Man: Please, its really easy, all you have to do is answer the questions that I ask you. If you don't know the answer, then you give me five dollars, and if I don't know the answer to your question, then I'll give you five dollars. 

Blonde2: But I really don't want to do this. I just want to take a nap. And moreover, gambling is not for me...

Man: Oh but PLEASE, pretty, please. Okay, how about if I don't know the answer to your question, I'll give you five hundred dollars.

Blonde2: Hmm, okay. Such an interesting proposal. let's play your game!

Man: Okay. How many moons does Jupiter have? 

Blonde2: Here you are.

Man: You see, it's very easy. Now it's your turn to ask a question.

Blonde2: All right. What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four?

Man: Hmmm...I don't know... I'll search for the answer in the Internet! Nothing...Just nothing... OK, you've won! Here are your five hundred dollars! What was the answer to the riddle? 

Blonde2: I have no idea! Here you are.

Man: Oh, I have at last come!

(knock-knock)

Who is there, I wonder. Good morning! 

Blonde: Good morning! Do you have any jobs for me to do?

Man: Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge? 

Blonde:How about 50 dollars?

Man: It goes. You can take the paint and the ladders in the garage.

Blonde: OK. I`ll do my best!

Wife: Why has she agreed? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?

Man: She should. She was standing on the porch. I am so tired. I'll rest a little bit.

(knock-knock)

You? Have you already finished?

Blonde: Yes, and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.

Man: OK, thank you! Here are your fifty dollars.

Blonde: And by the way that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari.

Author: And now  a bonus and a checkpoint about blondes! Legend says that there is a bar  in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror.  If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is  granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are  instantly kicked away by the mirror. So, a redhead, a brunette and a  blonde walk into the ladies room one by one and stand before the mirror.

Brunette: I think I'm the sexiest woman alive. 

(POOF)

Redhead: I think I'm  the most beautiful woman in the world.

(POOF) 

Blonde: I think...

(POOF)